It was the summer of 2009 when I first noticed you. What a big beautiful dog, I said to myself. You were roaming in the corn fields off Kelly Lane. Your fur was dirty, but you didn’t care. You seemed to be happy just crisscrossing through the corn stalks. From then on, I often thought of you and started calling you Big White. I started to be more aware of you when I drove Kelly Lane and Weiss Lane, always hoping I’d see you again. And I did, not just once but many times. I started praying about you. I asked God that He would keep you safe out there and that your owners would be kind to you and give you the proper care you needed. One time, I saw you by Kelly Lane. I tried to stop my car farther away from you and called you hoping you would come, but you didn’t. You were too afraid. So I went home and heated chicken nuggets then came back out to find you. You weren’t there anymore. It was getting dark. I didn’t know where you went. After that I started taking chicken nuggets with me to work. In the mornings when I got to work, I’d put the chicken nuggets in the refrigerator, and took them with me when I went home. I thought in case I saw you again, I’d be ready to give you food. I did that for several days until one day I forgot to take them home and they ended up getting thrown away.
One time I saw you by the corn fields with a little dog. It looked like you and the little dog were talking to each other and it seemed like you were guiding the little dog into the corn fields. It was a happy scene. I could tell that you and the little dog were having a good time. It was a nice day. I thought you and the little dog were owned by the same person, but I never saw the little dog again. I wondered what happened to it.
There was a time when weeks had passed without me seeing you. I started asking our neighbors and friends around to see if they had seen you. A neighbor told me that he thought you lived on a farm house on Weiss Lane, so I started looking for you in that area. When I still didn’t see you I got worried, but I thought that maybe the owners had come to their senses and started taking you into their house where you can be safe and warm. I looked up the address of the farm house and searched online to see if your owners had a phone number but none was listed. I wanted so much to know who your owners were and ask them about you. Your life was so intriguing. I thought of you every day. I always wondered what kind of people could leave such a precious dog out there on her own.
You were road smart. I was always amazed. I saw how you always checked the road before crossing it. You always looked regal and you seemed to love just being outside. I didn’t know what breed of dog you were. After doing some research, I thought you resembled an Akbash.
One morning in December 2009, I decided to take a back road, a route which I hadn’t taken before to go to work. A very skinny big white dog crossed the road before me. It shocked me to see a big white dog 15 minutes away from my house, so I thought that since I hadn’t seen you in months, you must have wandered elsewhere and lost so much fur and weight. I then started taking that route and looking around hoping to see a big white dog. One Sunday after church, I went there and found one. I had a pound of beef stick treat that I carried with me in my car. You were scared; I gave you the beef stick. I put the food closer and closer to me and I sat on the gutter and waited for you to come. You were so hungry, but you sat a few feet away from me and ate the food. I wished I had more to give. You got scared and left when a truck delivery man walked towards me to ask for directions. I went to the pet store and got more beef stick, but when I came back you were gone. That route became my new route to and from work and each morning and afternoon I stopped by and checked if you were there. Over the course of time I met wonderful people who worked in that business facility where I was leaving food and found out that they were leaving food out for you too.
In the morning of December 20 2009, I drove to Harris Branch to make sure there was food and water for you. I was so sad that it had been weeks since the last time I saw you. I even asked the people who worked there and called the businesses around the area to ask if they had seen a big white dog. No news. On my way home, disappointed that I had not seen you, I was praying that I would see you again. As soon as I was done, I saw a big white fluffy thing in the corner of my eye as I was about to turn left to head home. I stopped my car and walked towards the road. Wow! You were on top of a little hill at the farm, my Big White. It was then that I realized that you and the dog I was feeding in Harris Branch were two different dogs. It was a big relief. All of a sudden I was happy. I knew you were safe.
Big White on top of a hill on December 20, 2009.
Three months later, after the Nixdorf employees attempted to rescue the dog in Harris Branch, they finally succeeded. She was rescued and was then named Sophie. My daughter Lauren and I were able to visit Sophie once at her new home in Round Rock. It was a happy ending for Sophie.
I found out that you were a Great Pyrenees. I read up on it and found out how wonderful your breed is. I became more and more aware of my surroundings and saw that there were other Great Pyrs living in the farms I passed by every day. I didn’t even know they were there before.
Since I found out where you liked to hang out I saw you more and more. On nice days, you liked to lay on top of the hill. It used to be nice, but after a while because of the drought the hill began to look like a rock with a lot of dead grass. You stopped going there. Sometimes you would just walk on the side of Weiss Lane, but usually you slept by a tree close to the entrance of the farm or in the open field across from it. One time you even barked at me because I was trying to call you from across the street from your farm. You were such a good dog protecting your property. On rainy days, when I saw you were so muddy and soaked, I couldn’t help but cry and feel sorry for you. I wished so many times that I could take you home and give you the love that your owners neglected to give you. It was really heartbreaking to see that no one was caring for you. I wanted so much to help you but I didn’t know how. I didn’t have any experience with rescuing animals before, plus your size was intimidating.
This year in the summer, every day you were out there in the field across from your farm house. I saw you one day with a dog I’d never seen before. But after a couple of days, that dog wasn’t there anymore. The owners probably found him. You were always nice and friendly with other dogs. I wish you weren’t scared of people. Summer got hotter and hotter and there was no rain. I worried about you getting heat stroke due to extreme heat. Someone left a water bowl and a food bowl under a tree on Hidden Lake Crossing, so Lauren and I started giving you water and food regularly. We used to bring our own bowls but somehow they disappeared. In the morning, we left some iced water and treats, at night we left water and food for you. You never want to eat when we were looking so we just left the food and water and then watched you from afar. I wrote to Texas Great Pyrenees Rescue to inform them about your situation. They said that they were aware of you and have tried to rescue you several times but weren’t successful.
We met so many people in that spot where we fed you since Lauren and I were regulars. We found out that your owner had died about four years before and so you were left to care for yourself, and that you were in the same area where you used to patrol and watch goats. One lady stopped by and said that she’s been feeding you for four years and she was glad that other people had started helping out. I met another person who told me that there was one little boy who always saved part of his food for you when he ate out. There was one family with a little girl who she said that she cared about you and hoped that you would be okay. One lady called you Moses because she thought you were a male, and she said you always watched over the area. Other passersby stopped to ask what was up with you and why you were out there every single day. The most interesting story was from an older lady that I met there one time. She was walking her big dog, I think it was a Rottweiler. She told me that her dog loved playing with you and he played with you all the time. One time, her dog got bit by a coyote and you brought her dog back to her home. When she approached you and her dog to help, you ran away. What you did for that dog was so inspiring. You were so brave to protect your friend.
On August 13, 2011 Lauren and I went to see you in the morning to say goodbye to you. We were going to Colorado for a week’s vacation. I asked Papa and Mama to leave food and water for you while we were gone. Every day I checked on you when I talked to Mama. She said you weren’t there. One week had passed and she didn’t see you. She still left food and water but she said the birds ate your food and drank and bathed in your water. As soon as I came back I visited the field, but you weren’t there. Good thing I thought of checking with Texas Great Pyrenees Rescue. I found out from Lin at TGPR that you were rescued the same day we left. I was so happy that you would now be getting the proper care and the love you needed. They named you Zenyatta.
You were placed at a farm about two hours away from me. And although I really wanted to see you, I didn’t go there but I kept in touch with TGPR. I was told that you would be transferred to another foster’s ranch in Dripping Springs which is just an hour away from me so I waited until I could visit you there. You developed an upper respiratory infection while you were at the shelter, so when you were at the farm, they were treating you for that. Both of your ears were also infected really badly. They started treating your ears but when you came to Linda’s ranch the vet said that your right ear had a cancerous tumor. You ended up having surgery where they took the tumor out and sewed your ear shut. It looked like you bounced back after that because when we visited you a week after your surgery, you were looking great. Weeks had passed and Linda said that your ears were fine but even so, you still didn’t look happy.
On December 20th Linda took you to the vet because you had stopped eating your regular food. The vet said you hadn’t lost weight and that everything looked great. From then on, it seemed like everything went downhill for you. You only wanted to eat burgers. When we came to visit you the day after Christmas, there was so much sadness in your eyes and you looked so weak that you didn’t even move. Linda said that on Christmas day it was raining and you were out there in the rain at night so she had to get you and put you in an area that had a roof.
December 26, 2011 Zen was looking so sad and weak.
Zen, I came home really sad that day. Linda told me that that might be the last time I would ever see you. It broke my heart that she thought there was no hope and that it was too late. Linda thought the cancer must have spread to your whole body.
I had always wished that someday you would be with us. I had imagined walking with you on nice sunny days and playing with you in my yard. I had imagined that you would be good to my cats Everest and Cherry and that they would love you back. We prayed daily that you would heal and that you would be happy.
I didn’t want to give up Zen. I asked Linda if you could come back here to Pflugerville so I could take you for a walk in your place and so that you could once again breathe the Pflugerville air and hear the Pflugerville noise that you used to hear. Linda agreed that it was a good idea so she arranged for a man to drop you off at my house on Tuesday night, December 27. I anxiously waited for you to arrive. I was nervous and scared. I didn’t know what to expect. I wanted to stay positive for you. I even told Lauren to think positively so we could emit positive energies to you. When you arrived, you were so weak and breathing really hard. You went straight to one corner of the yard and laid there. My husband Laird built you a house that night. We all stayed up late to be with you. Because you were so weak, we had to guide you to your new house; Laird almost carried you because you didn’t want to move. I made you some beef both from prime beef bones we bought at a farm in Georgetown. You lapped the broth and ate the beef - all of it. I was so happy you did. Before we went to sleep, we put a nice, clean, warm blanket on you and left a light in your house to keep you warm. You slept there. Laird said he checked on you again much later and you were breathing really hard.
Zen's new house
I didn’t sleep well that night; I thought about you. When I got up, I checked and saw that you were in one corner of the yard sleeping. I went to pet you and asked why you left your house to be in the cold. You just looked at me but didn’t move. Your blanket was outside your house and it was damp so I took it in and put it in the dryer.As I was drying it, I watched you from the window. I saw that you got up and walked, then went to the same spot in that corner where I first found you. When your blanket was dry and still warm, I went to see you and put the blanket on you. I think you liked it. The sun started shining and you were in the right spot in the yard to get the sunshine. You seemed to enjoy it. You laid there looking content and relaxed. After a while you started walking around and checking out your new yard. You checked each corner and sat there with your head up. You looked like you found new strength. I was so happy with what I was seeing that I found new hope. I thought that you’re getting better.
December 28, 2011 I woke up and found Zen in the corner of the yard. I covered her with her blanket to keep her warm.
Laird had put chicken in the crockpot overnight so I could give it to you for breakfast. After removing the bones and allowing the stock to cool, I went out and gave you the chicken soup. You lapped the soup and ate some of the chicken. Your appetite was really good. After that, you went walking again, back and forth, from one end of the yard to the other, stopping at every corner to sit there for a while. You looked happy.
I knew you were feeling better because you were acting like your old self again. You didn’t want anyone to come close to you. I even saw you run a little bit. You didn’t want to eat when someone was watching you. I was so encouraged. I gave you more chicken broth and you finished it again.
After that, you started walking more and more, back and forth in the yard. You must have walked back and forth thirty times. But as you walked more, you started wheezing and coughing up phlegm. I was out there with Lauren, observing you. You avoided us several times when you saw us standing there on the patio. But after a while you surprised me by coming to me and Lauren and staying there. You wanted to be petted. You stood by the door as if you wanted to go inside the house, but then you started shivering so Lauren led you to your house. She said you laid there briefly but then you bumped your head and you got scared and got out.
We walked you to the front yard and to the garage where it was warmer. You couldn’t keep your balance, but you wanted to keep walking. I blocked you so you would stop walking so you laid there on my foot as your breathing got harder and harder. I was so scared because I knew you were dying. We tried to call for mobile vets but none of them responded. After a while you got up and started walking to the side yard. You laid there by our neighbor’s yard breathing heavily still. Lauren put a blanket on you. You got up again and then laid down beside the air conditioning unit. I was still trying to find a vet. I was in the garage as my phone was plugged to the wall charging. When I came back to check on you, you had moved to a different location again. This time your eyes were closed. You were still breathing heavily and slowly fading away. I sat there with you brushing my hand on your forehead telling you how much I loved you, until …. it was your last breath. Tears welled in my eyes and started falling fast. Lauren started crying too. I kissed your forehead and hugged you. You looked so peaceful and beautiful. You looked like you were just sleeping. You were not in pain anymore.
Zen, I am so glad you came into my life. You meant so much to me. You inspired me in so many ways. You were loyal to your owners even though they had abandoned you. You were a protector. You were a friend. I had you for one night and half a day, but you have been in my heart since I first saw you, two and a half years ago. I did not just lose a pet; I lost a friend. More than that, I lost family. I will always remember you Zen. Because of you, my life was changed. Goodbye my Big White, and thank you. You are home now.
Big White (Zen) was a Pflugerville Great Pyrenees who was loved by many people in Villages of Hidden Lake and Texas Great Pyrenees Rescue. She passed away on December 28, 2011 at 12:11 pm. Because construction is about to start near the farm house where she used to live and it is uncertain what will become of the field where she used to patrol, we decided to bury her body in the corner of our yard where we found her sleeping that morning of the 28th.
I want to express my sincerest appreciation to all the people who have touched Zen’s life. Zen and I will never forget you.
Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there; I do not sleep. I am
a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft starlight at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die. - Mary Elizabeth Frye